So I have been forced in to thinking about Christmas lately. As an atheist I wish somebody would get rid of all of the boring parts and make it a full on fun day. We can all still give each other stuff. I'm fine with that, but let's trim the fat.
1. Why should we spend the last part of the year being told that we aren't spending enough money? The news loves to tell us that "holiday sales are slower than usual." Who gives a fuck? In a perfect world we wouldn't be putting ourselves in debt so that retailers can get in to the black. Why should I give a fuck if Best Buy sold enough pieces of plastic that are going to be obsolete by June?
2. Hey born agains, stop trying to remind us why we are celebrating. I don't fucking care. I like hanging out with people who are happy and having fun. Nobody needs your "but seriously" moment. You are a wet blanket, and if you weren't there, the night would have gone on longer and we all would remember the fun night we all had.
3. Stop handing me fruity wrapped stuff. If you want to buy me a shirt, just hand it to me. I'm an adult man. I don't need my stuff adorned with paper and bows.
4. Just listen to regular music. Nobody likeS sleigh bells, otherwise they would be in more non season specific songs.
I hope that this somehow gets in to the hands of Fox News. I feel like I am really getting a jump on the war on Christmas. Listen to the show at bit.ly/listentomrr for more antisocial rants.